


Blind to Fate

by Whokisses



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-05-23 18:36:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14939676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whokisses/pseuds/Whokisses
Summary: Lydia Roman has suffered enough during this war and Remus Lupin wants nothing more than to protect her. Even from himself.





	1. The Start

From the outside it would seem like a quiet ordinary morning on a beautiful countryside estate. The singing of birds accompanied with the deep rustle of leaves start to fill the last bit of silence that only comes at night.

A picture fit for a postcard.

However, two separate and troubling problems lie just within those aged stoned walls –one issue going completely unseen by all inside.

If you were to step foot into the manor right now the first thing you would notice –the offending odors of blood, sweat, and despair. The second thing you would notice –the screams. Heart wrenching to the point of your own eyes filling with tears like you were the one feeling the pain of the person screaming.

* * *

* * *

 

“Tell us!” The crazed voice behind the silver mask screams “Tell us where it is!”

Broken beyond being able to form words all Augusta Roman can do is spit the new mouthful of blood on the marble floor and shake his head in defiance.

A quick kick and the death eaters boot makes contact with one of several broken ribs.

“Why couldn’t you just play nice,” the masked man turns to his unmasked partner “Bring in the girl.”

Upon hearing these words Augusta renews his fight against the invisible bonds keeping his hands behind his back.

“NO! Don’t you touch her!”

The gleam in the eyes of the Death Eater reveals a won victory –they have found the hardened Auror’s weakness.

His young daughter.

Fenrir Greyback drags a visibly shaken girl into the room. Her eyes land on her father’s battered body before she falls to her knees reaching out to him.

“Daddy?” her words are drowned out by the Death Eater shouting an unforgivable curse.

“Crucio”

The curse hits the desired mark and every muscle in young Lydia Roman’s body feels like it is being raked over hot coals. Her scream is involuntary and is met with her fathers as he begs for them to stop.

When it stops Lydia is left panting on the floor, “Where. Is. It. Roman?”

“I-I-Don’t know” the wand raises up toward Lydia again “I SWEAR IT. I DON’T KNOW. Just please—please leave her alone.”

“Why don’t I believe you Roman? Does your daughter really mean so little to you that you would continue this farce? Maybe I should just let Greyback have her-“

“NO!”

“—You know how he has a thing for children. Maybe he will even keep her alive so she can turn furry once a month” The unknown Death Eater grabs Augusta’s face so that their eyes meet “Yes, maybe that is what I will do. Of course, I think a few more rounds of the Cruciatus curse might jog your memory as well. How long do you think she can hold out?”

“Please.”

“Crucio.” The screams pick up where they left off.

Something within Lydia snaps. She feels it. At first, she wasn’t sure because it felt like every bone in her body was being broken and pulled through her skin but she knew something was very wrong.

She was conscious but everything was black.

“Stupify!” an unfamiliar voice broke through her pain and all she could do was cry.

 

**CHAPTER ONE**

Remus Lupin was trying to show his excitement at returning to Hogwarts for his sixth year but the upcoming full moon had him in a terrible disposition. Sirius and James were not helping the situation by trying to get him to join in on the discussion of which of the girls had ‘really grown’ over summer holiday.

When Sirius starting guessing what size brazier Sandra Sly was wearing under her robes Remus had had enough. Leaving the compartment without an excuse he made his way down the hall hoping to find an empty one to collect his thoughts.

Peeking into one of the last ones showed he might be in luck but upon opening the door he saw a young woman leaning against the wall nearest the door –like she was trying to hide from the world.

Remus was about to apologize and leave when the girl sat up and smiled at him.

“Hello, you can have a seat if you’d like”

He should have turned around and left. He was not in the right mindset to keep the company of someone like her but he muttered a quick ‘thank you’ and took the seat across from her and next to the window.

“I’m Lydia by the way, Lydia Roman.” Her voice was soft, soothing to every nerve he felt was exposed. Remus studied her and instantly memorized everything about her, from her wavy dark ash hair to her heart-shaped face. It wasn’t until he went to commit her lips to his memory that he realized she was talking.

“I’m sorry?”

“I said,” she laughed “that it is usually polite to introduce oneself next.”

“What? Oh, right I apologize, I’m Remus. Remus Lupin.” He stuck his hand out but frowned when she didn’t reciprocate. That was when he realized that she was looking in his direction but wasn’t actually looking at him. In fact, he couldn’t really see much of her eyes since the purple lenses on her glasses were casting their color onto her face.

“Well it is a pleasure to meet you Remus. I was starting to think that I smelled funny since no one else was sitting with me.”

“I can assure you that you smell great. I—uh—I mean you smell fine.” He mentally cursed himself for sounding like a second year Hufflepuff talking to a girl for the first time.

“Thank you and so do you. In fact, you smell like chocolate and citrus. A very fine combination indeed.”

“I do?”

“Oh yes” Lydia leaned in closer to Remus and whispered “Chocolate is my favorite” then she reached into the bag next to her and pulled out a bar of ‘Scrumptious Fudge Ripple’.

“Would you like some?” she broke the bar in half and held it out toward Remus.

Everyone knew that Remus Lupin had a massive sweet tooth and it was only made worse by his condition. Often when it was the day of a full moon all he would eat is chocolate.

He took the offered piece and smiled at the giver, “Thank you.”

She just smiled at him and bit into her half of the chocolate.

“Forgive me Lydia but I don’t remember seeing you around Hogwarts before.”

“Well I’d imagine not sine this is my first year.”

“You seem awfully big to be a first year—that’s not what I meant –I mean you seem old?” he couldn’t stop the groan that came out after he finished his statement.

Lydia however didn’t seem to mind and found it funny, “I’m a transfer. This is actually my sixth year. Daddy thought that Hogwarts would be safer since… you-know-who.” Her smile understandably faltered and for some reason Remus hated seeing it leave her face.

“Where are you transferring from?”

“Beauxbatons but enough about me. Tell me about Hogwarts, I’ve heard that there are four houses.”

“Yes, named after the four founders of Hogwarts. Ravenclaw is where the intelligent and creative are housed. The loyal and hardworking are in Hufflepuff. Cunning and Sly go into Slytherin. Then the courageous and Brave are sorted into Gryffindor.”

“Judging by the pride in your voice I would say that you are a Gryffindor?”

“You would be correct in your judgement.”

“Huh. I wonder what house I will be put into. Does it really matter? I mean even if I am in a different house we could still talk right?”

“Absolutely!” Remus sounded way too excited at the prospect of a beautiful girl wanting to talk to him. Sirius was the one the ladies flocked to “I would like that.”

 

The train came to a stop and the halls were filled with excited chatter as this years Hogwarts students made their way to school.

Lydia remained seated and Remus could see the signs of nervousness start to show so he sat down next to her.

“If you’d like I can walk you to the carriages?”

“That would be lovely Remus. Do you mind waiting until the crowd starts to die down? I tend to get a bit overwhelmed but if you have other friends to met up with I completely understand and don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s no bother at all. It’s the least I can do since you were so courteous with your stash of chocolate.”

“That’s nothing. You see the trunk above me? It’s nothing but chocolate.”

“A woman after my heart.”

The compartment filled with their combined laughter and it wasn’t long before the sounds of their classmates were almost nonexistent.

“Shall we madam?” Remus held out his elbow in mock fashion as Lydia stood. But instead of grabbing his arm she grabbed a pole from beside her and it extended until the tip was on the ground.

“We shall sir.”

Taken aback by this newfound knowledge and what it meant it took Remus a second to compose himself and remember to open the compartment door for her. Leaving her bags behind, since they always somehow made it to their dorms anyway, he made it his job to clear her path of anything that might be in her way.

It wasn’t until they were in line for a carriage that Lydia spoke to him.

“You know, you are going to have a full-time job this school year if you feel the need to walk in front of me moving every little thing. That’s what this thing is for.” She held up her stick and smiled at Remus.

“Sorry I didn’t know that you were –uh—you know.”

“Does it make any difference? I’m still the person from a few minutes ago I just can’t see. That’s why I have Glenda.”

“Glenda? And no, of course it doesn’t change anything.”

“Funny thing about magic is you can enchant pretty much anything. Where muggles have seeing eye dogs, we have enchanted guide canes. It leads me around obstacles and to where I need to go. It’s quite fascinating really but to answer your question I have named her Glenda. I’d much prefer to have a dog but I have terrible allergies so I’ll have to make do with my imagination.”

Remus climbed the steps to the carriage then took her hand to assist her up the three steps before sitting down next to her.

“Remus! There you are. We were wondering where you got off to—well hello” Sirius jumped into the carriage before it started to pull away and took Lydia’s hand in his so he could lay a kiss on the top. Remus’s friend winked at him as he sat opposite them. “I see why you abandoned us Mooney. Aren’t you going to introduce the lovely lady?”

Remus was relieved when Lydia’s smile seemed to be more out of politeness and not as genuine as their time together on the train.

“This mangey mutt is Sirius Black and this is Lydia Roman a sixth-year transfer from Beauxbatons."

“Well enchanté Miss Lydia.”

“I can tell that you fancy yourself a lady’s man Mr. Black and I am sure that the ladies are happy to have your attention.”

“Do I have your attention? I’d be happy to show you around Hogwarts.” Remus couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Sirius waggled his eyebrows at Lydia. The man just couldn’t help himself.

“I’m afraid not. I already have a tour guide, that is if you don’t mind Remus?”

“It’d be my pleasure.”

“Oh, I’m sure it would be Mooney.” The glare Remus sent Sirius did nothing to wipe that smug look off of his good friend’s face.

* * *

* * *

 

The hall was eerily silent as Lydia made her way to the sorting hat. Professor McGonagall explained to her that she would be sorted last which was a little intimidating if Lydia was being honest.

Glenda moved in a way to let Lydia know that she was approaching steps and then she was reaching out to find the seat of the stool. She did her best to ignore the hushed whispers it was uncommon to find a blind or deaf witch in the magical world but not unheard of. There are several documented cases of magical abuse leaving victims in those states. The majority caused from potions but Lydia was in the small percentage of ‘others’.

The weight of the hat was comforting in a way but then it started talking and not quietly either.

“Let’s see…Intelligent, yes…very loyal and hardworking… and extremely brave. You have quite a few qualities which makes it difficult to sort. Do you have a preference?”

Lydia instantly thought of Remus and how easy it was to be herself around him.

The hat chuckled before it announced “GRYFFINDOR!”


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

A hand grabs hers and before she can react, Lydia knows it’s Remus. The smile on her face is appreciative as he leads her to a seat next to him. Retracting Glenda, she can feel the inquisitive eyes of the others land on her. Which is something she has become accustomed to within the wizarding world, she is an oddity after all.

“Well it’s official” she says to no one in particular, “Gryffindor must be the best house if _I_ was placed in it.”

It was Sirius who busted out laughing at her attempt to break the ice using her false confidence, “It’s true love. Gryffindor is the best.”

“Now Sirius” Lilly does her best to sound disappointed “All of the houses are great in their own way. Isn’t that right James?”

“You know you are always right Lilly Bean.”

Lydia hears a small smack as lips connect with what she can only assume is a cheek and grins at the obvious couple.

“I’m Lilly Evans and this brilliant guy is James Potter.” James raises his hand as a silent greeting and shortly after Lilly’s elbow connects with his rib.

“Ow! What was that for?” he asks while rubbing his side with exaggerated movements.

Lilly just points at her own eyes before motioning toward Lydia.

The boyfriend looks confused before he realizes his mistake and instantly starts to mutter a quick apology while reaching across the table to grab a startled Lydia’s hand, giving it a firm shake.

“Sorry. Like Lilly said, my name is James.”

“Hi James and no reason to apologize. I should have offered my own hand sooner but I’m still getting use to how other people react to my lack of eye sight. As you can imagine it makes meeting people for the first time a bit awkward.”

“What do you mean you are still getting use to it?” Sirius asks in a nonchalant way before mumbling something about being starved.

No one else seemed to notice how Lydia tensed up at the question but It wasn’t hard for Remus to spot the small change in her posture. A voice that commanded attention interrupted, saving Lydia from having to reply and stopping Remus from asking if she was alright.

“Good evening students. I just wanted to say a few words before the start of the feast…”

Lydia clutches Remus’s wrist, to get his attention as she leans into him to whisper. The shiver as her breath moves his shaggy hair above his ear is completely involuntary and hopefully unnoticed.

“Who is that talking?” she has heard that voice once before. On the night she lost her eyesight. She wasn’t paying enough attention to realize how much her grip tightened on poor Remus’s arm just by thinking about that day.

Remus lays his other hand atop of hers in an attempt to comfort her, “That is Headmaster Dumbledore.”

Seemingly lost in thought from the horrors of the night that took place a year ago, Lydia didn’t notice when the excited gasps and murmurs filled the hall as the nights feast appeared on all of the tables. Every item seemingly tailored to each person’s taste.

“Hey are you alright?” Remus’s voice is laced with genuine concern for the girl he just met no more than a few hours ago, “Lydia?”

“Oh, yes I’m fine,” She removes her hand from his and Remus instantly misses the comfort her touch had brought him. “The food smells delicious! What are my options? Do I smell roasted chicken?”

Just like that it seemed that whatever was troubling her was forgotten.

“You need to get some before Sirius eats it all.” Lilly joked.

At that, Remus slaps Sirius’s hand. Stopping him from grabbing another piece of chicken to add to his mountain of a pile.

“Come on Mooney,” A surprised Sirius whines, with too much embellishment to be taken seriously, as Remus puts the newly saved chicken on Lydia’s plate for her “You know the house elf’s will just send more if we run out.”

“Then you don’t mind waiting for more to appear do you Padfoot? Besides don’t you have a figure to maintain? It looks like you’ve put on a few pounds over the summer.” he turns his attention back to the girl on his left, effectively ignoring the look of mock hatred Sirius was throwing his way. If you wanted to get under the skin of Sirius Black you attack his physical appearance. “Would you like anything else? Some potatoes perhaps?”

“That sounds great but I don’t want you to feel like you need to cater to me Remus. I can find a way to manage. I am a witch after all.”

“Non-sense. It’s not often that Mooney here has the chance to wait on a beautiful girl hand and foot. I reckon the only reason you haven’t run screaming for the hills yet is because you can’t see his ugly mug.” Sirius teased. It is obvious he is still sore about losing out on the chicken and looking for revenge on his friend and hurling insults was not below him.

Remus was about to open his mouth, a witty comeback on the tip of his tongue but Lilly Evan’s voice stops everyone at the table.

“SIRIUS BLACK! It is one thing to pick on your mate but you just met this poor girl and it is beyond rude to use her as a means to get back at Remus.”

“It’s quite alright Lilly. Really.” Lydia’s laugh manages to break the silence from the nosy Gryffindors sitting nearby that were hoping for a bit more drama to start the term off with. “I don’t mind people pointing out that I can’t see. It saves me the trouble of having people ask if I really am blind. Plus, life can get awful boring with people walking on egg shells around me. So please feel free to be yourselves. And Sirius, the only thing that is currently making me want to run for the hills is that peculiar stench of wet dog that seems to follow you.”

The table burst with laughter as this new girl gave Sirius a dose of his own medicine. Even Sirius was chuckling as he lifted up his arm and smelled his armpits before raising an eyebrow at how he did in fact smell like a wet dog.

Except for Lydia having to reassure Remus that she could feed herself on several occasions and Sirius throwing a small tantrum about not getting an extra piece of apple pie, the rest of the welcoming feast went smoothly.

As students were dismissed for the evening, Lydia was relieved to know that Remus, James, and Sirius were staying behind. Lilly, having to direct the first year Gryffindors to the common room expressed her regret in not being able to stick around.

“Miss. Roman” a sharp voice that Lydia already knew belonged to Professor McGonagall was calling her name as Lydia stood up. “I brought you your schedule early. I noticed that you have all but one class with Mr. Lupin and if you would like, I see no problem in allowing you two to walk through your route tonight so that you are more prepared tomorrow. Is that alright with the both of you?”

Somehow Lydia knew that the professor wasn’t really asking but more telling her to follow her advice.

“Thank you professor I would feel more comfortable if I had a better lay of the land before tomorrow. Do you mind Remus? I could always wait for Lilly to finish her duties if you have other plans tonight.”

“Mr. Lupin and _only_ Mr. Lupin would be more than happy to escort you Miss. Lewis,” if Lydia could see she would have seen the warning look their head of house sent the rest of the Marauders. The older woman has known them long enough to know that Remus was the sole responsible one. “Isn’t that right Mr. Lupin.”

“Of course, ma’am. We will start in the common room.” Remus answered with a straight face despite the thumbs up James and Sirius were giving him from behind McGonagall’s back.

“Professor” James interrupted “Do you think it is wise to allow Remus alone with such a gorgeous lady? He does have a sort of animal magnetism that woman cannot resist.”

Remus could only face palm himself and be thankful that Lydia wasn’t able to see the blush rising in his cheeks.

“I do believe, Mr. Potter, that Remus can reign in his animal magnetism for one night and that Miss. Lewis is strong enough to resist said magnetism. Now off you go. Classes will start earlier than you’d like and I expect you all to be on time.” The group turned to leave “And Mr. Black, Mr. Potter? After you two empty your pockets of those dung bombs you planned to set off tomorrow you both can join me in my office so we can discuss your detention.”

                “How did she know?”

                The Rest of the conversation starts to fade away as Remus lightly places his hand on the small of her back, signaling that it is time to begin their tour. The touch is brief and light but Lydia can feel it through her uniform like there is no fabric barrier between them at all.

                Shaking her head to remind herself that Remus is being nothing more than polite and that it isn’t uncommon for people to touch her in order to get her attention Lydia forces herself to get a grip.

                ‘ _No one wants to be weighed down with the likes of you’_ that tiny hateful voice inside her mind started to whisper.

                “Your friends seem nice.” Lydia realizes that she is almost shouting in order to drown out that voice she detested so much.

                “They have their moments.”

                The hallways were empty but they could still hear the fading chatter from everyone moving to their respective common rooms. Glenda signaled Lydia to stop a second before a noise she wasn’t able to place filled the hallway.

                “They like to move.” Remus’ voice answers her unasked question.

                “What does?”

                “The stairs. They like to move. It’s only really inconvenient when they decide to move whilst you’re on them.”

                “Well it might be a bit more inconvenient for me seeing as I rely on routine to get around.”

                The idea that she might not have the independence she so desperately wanted made her stomach feel like a rock was dropped inside it. A large, heavy one. For the first time since saying goodbye to her father and boarding the train to Hogwarts Lydia was starting to have her doubts about coming here. All because of some stupid moving stairs.

                Glenda is great at letting Lydia know when to stop or when she needed to move around objects and people but Glenda had her limits. One of those limits was directing her to where she needed to go. Much like a muggles guide stick Lydia controlled where they were going, which is why she suspected McGonagall was having her do this walk through of classes.

                There were some location spells that worked but Lydia found them unreliable at times. Like just last week when she was trying to prove to her father that she was more than capable of purchasing her own text books in Diagon Alley but ended up in Knockturn Alley. If it hadn’t been for that patrolling ministry worker it could have been the beginning of the end for her independent career.

                “I’ve never seen them do that before.” Remus’s comment pulled Lydia out of her downward spiraling way of thinking. “The stairs seem to be making the most direct route to the Gryffindor common room. It’s like they know where we need to go.”

                As soon as her hand touched the bannister of the staircase Lydia tried to force every ounce of gratitude she was feeling into the stone object beneath her fingertips.

                “You know, I read somewhere once that buildings and other objects that have been surrounded by great magic for extended periods of time seem to take on a life of their own. If that is the case then I am very grateful.”

                “Hogwarts is an amazing place. More than a few of us view it as a home away from home.”

                There was hint of sadness in how he spoke of his home but she didn’t want to pry. Remus has been nothing but a polite gentleman and has had he curtesy to not ask her the typical personal questions she is normally asked when first meeting new people. Which is the main reason her list of friends has been whittled down to just one, Nora.

                Nora and Lydia have been inseparable since the first day they met. Aside from the people present the night Lydia lost her eyesight Nora was the only other person who knew the complete story. Her best friend has kept her secret and the horrors she faced to herself. Never prying and only talking about it when Lydia needed to. She couldn’t wait to send her friend an owl first thing in the morning.

“What’s that look?” they both take their last step and Lydia can feel Remus watching her.

“Just missing someone.”

“Oh.” Remus clears his throat “I’m sure he is thinking about you as well.”

A sly one-sided smile pulls on her face, “Who says it is a ‘he’ Remus?”

“I just assumed that –you know—a boyfriend.”

“Nope. No boyfriends.”

“Right,” Remus’s face was a whole new shade of red at this point. Another attempt at clearing his throat fills the silence. “Shall we head to the Great Hall like we are going to breakfast then head down to potions?”

“We shall.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Lydia sat up in bed with a jolt.

A frantic fight to control her breathing starts, while her head turns from side to side as the darkness still replays parts of her nightmare inside her head. For a split second it feels like the walls are closing in on her. The claustrophobia is both suffocating and agonizing. It isn’t until she stumbles out of the four-poster bed and her feet touch the icy wooden floor that Lydia remembers that this is her life now.

It’s disorienting to dream in such vivid images just to wake up to complete darkness day after day. If it wasn’t for her inevitable nightmares she would probably spend most of her days sleeping just so she could pretend her vision was still hers.

She clasps a hand against her chest like she can forcibly make the thumping happening inside there slow down. The sound of someone snoring reminds her that she is no longer back in her own bedroom at the manor. That this is what she wanted. She fought for her chance to come to Hogwarts.

Without a house elf to tell her what time it is Lydia doesn’t know what to do. Her body is telling her to get back in bed because she has not had nearly enough sleep but her mind, knowing that another nightmare is certain, disagrees with that idea.

Tapping along the side of the bed, Lydia grins when her hand closes around the familiar hilt of Glenda. The Hazelwood cane a perfect extension of her arm. An acquainted tingle runs up her arm when she holds the removable notched grip. Seemingly molded to fit her hand and in a way, it is. It is actually her wand and Mr. Ollivander assured her that a wand chooses the master and there has been no reason for her to doubt that statement.

Her wand sticking by her side at times when others abandoned her. It’s loyalty never wavering even after she became less than a whole witch.

27 steps up and the door to the common room opens for her. The sounds of excited first years as they marvel at the grandeur of the Gryffindor common room no longer fill the room. Instead a thick silence is what greets her. After Glenda helps her avoid a discarded notebook on the floor, Lydia finds her way to the couch that she sat with Lilly on earlier.

_‘She seems nice,’_ Lydia thinks to herself as she recalls that feeling of not being alone for the first time since she can remember, _‘They all do really.’_

_‘They just feel sorry for you,’_ that voice chimes in _‘You are nothing more than a hindrance to all of those around you.’_

A shiver travels down her spine as Lydia contemplated the truth of those words.

“Would misses like a fire?” a squeaky voice coming from beside her startles her into sitting up “Sorry miss, Sorelle didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s quite alright Sorelle. I just thought I was alone is all,” Lydia relaxes back into the couch. “I’m Lydia and it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Lydia offers a smile in the direction she had heard the voice come from, now sure that her new companion is a house elf. “A fire would be lovely if it isn’t too much of a trouble that is.”

She knew that it wasn’t for a creature as powerful as he was but after having to rely on the kindness of her family’s house elf’s for so long she found herself not wanting to be a burden or to seem ungrateful toward them.

“Not at all miss,” a loud _PO_ P filled the air a second before warmth spread over her bones. “Is there anything else Sorelle can do for you ma’am?”

“No—Actually yes, do you know the hour?”

“It is fifteen past the third hour misses.”

“That early huh?” Lydia sighs. It is going to be a long night.

“Would misses like some warm milk? That always helps Headmaster Dumbledore when he is unable to sleep.”

“I could do with a cup of coffee if you don’t mind.”

Two loud pops later and Lydia was cuddled up on the couch in front of the fire with a cup of coffee in her hand. She listened to her new-found friend Sorelle tell her about how long he has served the great house of Gryffindor and she smiled at the pride he held in his voice.

 

* * *

* * *

 

“Were you up before the sun this morning?” Lydia recognized Lilly’s voice and was grateful that others were finally starting to fill the Great Hall.

“You know Lilly I don’t honestly know. I mean it was dark when I opened my eyes but that isn’t always a surety when it comes to me.”

“Oh…well I mean…” she could just imagine Lilly squirming in her seat and grinned as she loaded her fork up with more food.

It was Sirius who took what Lydia said as the joke it was and laughed while clapping Lydia on the back, making her fork full of pancakes fall off before they could make it to her mouth.

“Relax Lilly it was a joke. I don’t usually sleep well and I thought I would get an early head start at breakfast. It’s a lot easier to _Accio eggs_ when I don’t have to worry about hitting other people in the head,” someone sat down next to her and she didn’t have to guess to know who it was “Good morning Remus.”

“Morning.”

Lydia raised an eyebrow at the gruffness of his voice which is a big difference from his more pleasant tone yesterday.

“Don’t mind him none. He is just sour that he missed out on the chance to be seen walking with your pretty face down to breakfast,” Sirius threw his arm over her shoulder “Care for an escort to potions?”

She wasn’t sure, but Lydia thought Remus made a noise close to a growl before she shrugged Sirius Black’s arm off of her.

“Actually, I am headed there without an escort today. Thanks to Remus’s help yesterday I have it all laid out. All I have to do is head out of the Great Hall then turn to the right where it’s 62 paces before I reach the dungeon stairs which is then 41 steps down. Followed by 12 steps before coming to the classroom door on my right.”

Lydia stood to start her way to the classroom.

“Are you sure you don’t want one of us going with you? It would be no problem really. We are always happy to help. Sirius, Remus, Peter you have potions, don’t you? Let them wal--”

“NO.” She said with more venom then she meant. Knowing that Lilly was just trying to be helpful but also knowing that it wouldn’t be long before the pity would follow shortly before the resentment. Taking a deep breath Lydia calmed her voice, “I appreciate the offer Lilly but I have to navigate life on my own. I’ll manage and if not then I guess I shouldn’t be here. See you guys later.”

Remus waited until Lydia’s retreating back was out of the Great Hall before muttering a quick goodbye to his group of friends. They didn’t blink an eye and it could have been that they knew what he was up to or they were just accustomed to his dark demeanor this close to the full moon. Either way he was glad they were ignoring his sudden departure.

The halls were still fairly empty as Lydia navigated them with a sureness that made it seem like she has made this trek for the full six years. Remus almost ran ahead to remove a discarded bottle of fire whiskey from her path but he watched as she sidestepped it like she could actually see the reminisce of the welcome back party scattered in the halls.

Hogwarts has always felt more like his home and the marauders like his family. Arriving at Hogwarts had seem like a dream come true to an eleven year old Remus Lupin. Being able to meet other children for the first time and finding his now inseparable best friends was more than he could ask for in his cursed life. The length that James, Sirius, and Peter have gone through to make him feel normal and to ensure that his biggest fear never came true is something that Remus can never repay in this lifetime.

Even though these halls hold memory after memory from all his years at Hogwarts with his friends all he can replay right now is how Lydia held onto his arm as they walked the uneven stone steps to the dungeon. He watches as the same hand that relied on him yesterday glides along the damp walls. Her lips silently moving as she counts the steps of her descent.

Remus can’t help but feel amazed when she opens the door to potions, which he knows is a ridiculous thing to feel. Lydia Roman is clearly a strong girl willing to prove to herself and others that she is no different from anyone else. At the same time, if it was him in her shoes, he cannot imagine going through life with such ease.

Considering that class doesn’t start for another half hour, Remus is unsure what to do. He could make his way into the classroom and hope that Lydia doesn’t piece together that he followed her here or he could head back to the Great Hall and try to eat something. After seeing Lydia react to Lilly’s offer of helping her to class he opted for the latter.

* * *

* * *

 

It was as if she was back at Beauxbatons in her first year and Lydia’s nervousness was starting to show. She stops her leg from bouncing again. This is the second time she has caught herself allowing her nerves to make an outward appearance.

Luckily no one else is in the room to see her struggle. A part of her wishes she took Lilly up on her offer to have someone escort her down here but only because the silence was becoming too much at the moment and it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

Pulling out her copy of, ‘ _Advanced Potion Making’_ , Lydia skimmed her finger over the raised text. Her father had sent all of her books away to be transcribed into the language blind muggles developed called brail. It was absolutely fascinating to her how muggles adapted to things and she hoped that the wizarding world soon followed suit.

The door opened and distracted mumbling filled the void as the sound of glass jars clinking together soon added to the silence.

“OH! Well hello dear,” a kind voice said to her “It’s not every year that my first class has someone so eager that they show up so early. I don’t recall having you in my class before, what is your name dear?”

“Lydia Roman sir and you are hopefully Professor Slughorn otherwise I am in the wrong class.”

“Ah yes, Miss Roman,” his voice took on a sympathetic tone as he patted her hand “It’s a pleasure to have you in my class. I have the perfect partner for you as well. A bright young fellow. Ah here is now.”

“Morning Professor,” A deep monotone voice joined their conversation.

“Severus my boy! Your ears must be burning, I was just talking about you. I know this is your free period but we will be brewing the draught of the living death today and since you have successfully brewed this particular potion before I would like for you to work with Miss. Roman here.”

“Of course, sir.” Lydia could almost feel the displeasure Severus was feeling at being assigned a partner.

“Right. I’ll let you two get acquainted while we wait for class to start.”

“Thank you, professor,” both Lydia and Severus responded at the same time but with varying degrees of excitement.

“Thank you for helping me Severus.”

“It’s not like I had a choice in the matter.” His tone is bored and his attitude is already making Lydia frustrated. “So, you are the one everyone is talking about?”

“I don’t know. Am I?” she responds in a tight voice.

“Yes, blind as a bat they say. Which I suppose means I will be doing all of the work.”

“Actually, if you could just guide me to the store room I will be happy to gather the ingredients for today’s lesson.” Lydia’s anger at his judgement is barely concealed behind her saccharine smile.

Severus raises an eyebrow at her words, “Back of the room on the right.”

A quick nod is the only response Lydia offers the less than helpful person but she also appreciates that he chose to tell her rather than show her where the ingredients were.

After using _Accio_ on all of the ingredients Lydia finds her way back to her seat at the front of the room. It also seems that her time spent in the store room allowed for more of her fellow classmates to show up.

“Root of Aspdodel, wormwood, Valerian sprigs, Sloth brain, African sea salt, and Sopophorous Beans. It seems that you managed to gather everything needed.”

“Don’t seem so surprised Severus. It was a simple task after all.”

“I noticed you did not need to reference your book.” His voice was finally starting to take on a tone other than that of an uninterested jerk.

“Well I have made this potion before a few times.” Lydia left out the part that it was brewed before she lost her eyesight but Severus didn’t need to know that part.

“Really?”

\--“Get away from her Snivellus. How is it you have the uncanny ability to bother girls who want nothing to do with you.”

It took Lydia a second to realize that it was the voice of Sirius Black standing beside her. Certainly, he wasn’t speaking to Severus in that way?

“If I had my way I would have nothing to do with the girl. You Gryffindor's are all the same, a bunch of arrogant dunderheads, I see no reason why she would be any different.”

“Take. That. Back.” The tension in the air became palpable and Lydia was grateful when Remus pulled her away from the two feuding teenagers.

“What is happening?” she whispered to Remus. “Should we stop them?”

“Just an old feud and two short tempers but yes I guess I should say something.” Lydia was gently pushed behind Remus’s back as he raised his hands toward the two causing a scene. “Put your wand down Sirius. I’m sure Slughorn assigned Snape to help Lydia, he is the best in the class.”

Sirius’s head snapped toward his friend, “How can you say that?”

“Now Sirius your hatred cannot alter facts. Snape is brilliant at potions and I’m sure Lydia doesn’t mind working with him. Do you Lydia?”

She was shocked by the whole scene playing out in front of her. The conversation alone sounded like Remus was talking down a terrorist during a hostage situation.

“Not at all. Severus has been extremely kind.” She lied.

“Fine. But know this Snivellus, if you make her feel uncomfortable in _ANY_ way I will hex you into next Wednesday.”

“Seats. Take your seats everyone.” Professor Slughorn announced and Lydia wasn’t sure if he saw what was taking place or if he was oblivious to everyone staring at Sirius and Severus but his words seemed to get everyone moving. Remus gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before heading to his own seat.

Lydia was left not knowing what just happened or how she came into play. She made a mental note to ask Remus what the hell was going on later.

“Today we will be brewing a particularly difficult potion. If you would be so kind as to turn to page ten of your books, you will find brewing instructions for todays lesson. If a student can make a potion of sufficient quality there is prize to be claimed at the end of class. Let the brewing commence.”

Shuffled noises occupied the room suddenly as students flipped through their books and made their way to gather ingredients.

Lydia added the African sea salt to a glass cylinder before pulling out the muggle measuring spoons that the shop owner had suggested for ‘someone with her condition’. Rubbing her thumb over the raised numbers she found the 8-ounce marking and filled it with water then added it to the cylinder.

“I’ll start cutting the sopophorous Beans. You can sit and…not watch…me and try not to blow us up.”

Her grip on the silver dagger in her hand tightened at her partners words but she took a quick breath and kept the façade of calm on her face.

“Severus. I am very much capable of handling this on my own,” Lydia grabbed the largest bottle she knew contained those pesky beans. “But you are more than welcome to watch and make sure that, as you put it, I do not blow us up.”

Silence stretched out between the two for more than was customary but she could feel Severus watching her hands as she laid out the beans.

“You only have twelve. You need thirteen for this potion and what are you doing?”

“I am crushing the beans, my mother taught me that it is more efficient when extracting the juices…hence the twelve not thirteen beans,” Lydia focused her attention on her task and willed her hands to remain steady and not cut herself “and please don’t interrupt me again.”

Lydia’s triumphant smile was kept private when she heard Severus’s displeased growl mix with the chopping noises of her classmates as they fought to control their runaway Sopophorous beans.

Potion brewing is something she enjoyed doing with her mother and something that she has worked hard at so that she would be able to continue the practice.

From learning to listen and count each drop of the ingredient she was adding to being able to know what the ingredient was just by a simple waft from the bottle.

Despite loving every second of being able to feel close to her mother, Lydia knew the dangers that were entailed in brewing. Adding one too many drops of something could alter it to the point that it becomes completely unstable. It was amazing really that Dumbledore was allowing her to take this class but all McGonagall had asked her was if she was capable to handle such a task.

The witch had taken her at her word and here she was.

 Grumbling all around told Lydia that her fellow students were not fairing as well as she hopefully was. Severus, aside from the occasional grunt, has remained silent which she took as a sign that the draught was going according to plan for he would waste no time in pointing out her failure.

During the last step of stirring the potion counterclockwise Lydia waited until the seventh turn to finally speak to him.

“How does it look?” Lydia pushed her glasses up her nose before wiping the sweat from her forehead. The strands of unruly hair that managed to escape her plait were plastered to her face.

“Yes. I suppose you wouldn’t know, would you?”

She couldn’t even be mad at him at this point. The fact that Severus didn’t shy away or tiptoe around her blindness made her laugh. Hopefully he will respect her a tad more if this potion turned out correctly.

Professor Slughorn chose that moment to visit their work station.

“Very good Severus. Very good indeed. I’d dare say one drop will kill us all.”

Lydia said nothing as the professor praised Severus. She knew it would be ridiculous for him to assume that she was actually the brewer of this potion. She took a step back as people were jostling her as they tried to look into the cauldron to see what the potion was supposed to look like.

“Actually sir,” she could hear the sneer in Severus’s voice “Lydia is the sole potioneer. I merely observed.”

“You don’t say!” there was no doubt or disbelief in the professor’s voice. “Well then Miss Roman you are deserving of your prize. This is Felix Felicis or more commonly known as liquid luck.” A glass vial was placed in her hand as Slughorn patted her on the back. “Use it well my dear.”

Sirius and Remus also commended her as well as countless other students she didn’t know.

“How did you know?”

“What? No ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘You truly are amazing’ from you Severus?” She started to clean her station. “I learned from my mother. Nora Roman, she was a potion master and created quite a few healing potions herself.”

“Was?”

“Yes, was. She died last year.”

“Hmm. Pity. I would have liked to study under her.”

Lydia wasn’t sure how she felt toward Severus yet but there was something about his lack of filter that intrigued her. She knew where she stood with him which was a rare find for her. She remembered that Slughorn had praised Severus and his brewing skills so she imagined that he had goals of becoming a potion master himself.

“Well I can owl my father and ask for her journals if you’d like. She kept extensive notes so there might be something in there you could learn.”

“That would be…generous. What do you want in return?”

She laughed at how suspicious he sounded.

“Relax. I am not going to ask for your first-born son or anything but maybe, I heard the professor say this is your free period?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe on days you aren’t too busy you could assist me during class? It’s just that I still get nervous and I would hate to cause loss of limb to myself or a classmate.”

“That would be agreeable.” Severus took the empty vials from her hands “When I am available of course.”

“Of course. Thank you and I will write father tonight.”


	4. Suffering of Mortals

**Chapter 4**

Lydia mixed up the number of paces she needed to walk in order to make it to her History of Magic class and ended up sitting in a Charm’s lesson with a bunch of second years.  Despite that fact or that she didn’t want to face the embarrassment of having to ask how to get to the correct room and make the walk of shame in front of everyone, Lydia thought her first day at Hogwarts went fairly well.

She had simply shrugged and sat in on the lesson. Luckily Alohomora was a wand movement she remembered fairly well and didn’t require assistance from Professor Flitwick who astonishingly didn’t seem to notice that she was much taller and older than her fellow classmates.

It was great being around people again and to have that feeling like she was a part of something bigger than just her mundane life inside the manor. It was something she didn’t know she was missing but it was also physically draining. After the gossiped filled lunch she had in the Great Hall with an exuberant Lilly and a sweet girl named Alice, Lydia decided to skip dinner and head back to the common room. The hopes of decompressing a bit in the forefront of her mind.

It appears Remus was correct in thinking that the stair cases were moving to help Lydia because they seemed to know exactly where she was going. All throughout the day, as soon as she stepped foot on one the stone structures moved toward where she desired to go. Much to the hatred of the other students unlucky enough to be on them with her.

“Password?” Lydia might have taken offense at the condescending tone of the portrait asking the question but Remus explained to her that the ‘Fat Lady’, as everyone called her, fancied herself as some sort of elite in her social standing.

“Cherry Limeade.” Lydia tried to match the haughtiness with her own voice and was relieved that the password hadn’t been changed.

The atmosphere as soon as she stepped into the common room changed into something akin to homey. Hearing the fire crackling in the hearth and the quiet conversations from a few other Gryffindors was much preferred to the loud bustling of the hallways. Having spent the better part of the past year in solitude all of the noise and excitement of today was starting to catch up to her in the form of a headache. The lack of sleep from the past few days was probably a factor as well but it was best not to dwell on that.

With the pounding pressure behind her eyes, Lydia’s bed was calling her name but she knew that the nightmares were always present when she was this exhausted. So instead she was drawn to the couch and the warmth of the fire. Glenda showed no one sitting on the cushion Lydia was starting to favor and sighed with relief when her back hit the velvet soft fabric and all of the weight was taken off of her legs.

Laying her head back on the couch, she closed her eyes more out of habit than anything else.

The book in Remus’s hands stopped holding his attention as soon as he noticed Lydia walk into the common room. Like a dragon to flames, his eyes continue to take quick glimpses of her as she sits on the couch. Remus thought about making himself known to the girl and asking her how her day had gone but she looked like she needed the silence for a bit.

Which was something he understood perfectly.

He felt like a creep as he watched her with a weird fascination. Just like during Potions, Transfiguration, and Herbology class her every move held his attention. From the way she tapped her right index finger on her cane to the way her brow furrowed before she rubbed her temples.

“Madam Pomfrey can give you a potion for that,” Remus didn’t mean to speak but the words left him without a moment of thought “for your headache.”

Lydia’s face instantly changed as she smiled in his direction, “You know it’s pretty weird to watch people you weirdo.”

“You seemed liked you were enjoying the peace.”

“I was until you spoke up,” Lydia says playfully before allowing her head to fall back again to rest on the couch “Why aren’t you at dinner anyway?”

“I could ask you the same thing but to answer your question I am not hungry and was also enjoying the peace.”

“So, what are you doing? Just sitting in the corner people watching?”

Remus almost held up his book before realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see it, “Reading.”

“Do you read a lot?”

“I find it enjoyable.”

“What are you reading now?”

“The Valley of Fear. A Tale of Sherlock Holmes.”

“Never heard of it. Is it any good?”

It still amazed him at times how different the wizarding and muggle worlds were. Sherlock Holmes was a name almost unheard of in the world of magic. Maybe deductive reasoning isn’t something wizards really need?

“Yes. It is quite famous muggle literature in fact.”

“Would you mind reading some of it out loud?”

Remus was taken aback by her request but found that he liked the idea of reading to her. His joints scream their displeasure as he lifts himself off of the wingback chair and moves to sit next to her on the couch. This close to the full moon, he always felt much older than his sixteen-year-old body actually was.

“Should I start from the beginning?” he asks and immediately wants to take back the ridiculous question.

“If you must but I was hoping you would start at the end. That’s where I always start my books as it saves me the trouble of having to read those pesky plot developments.” She bumps her shoulder into his and laughs which makes him laugh. He becomes aware of how close they are sitting to each other. Remus can feel the warmth coming off of her and he wants to bask in it.

_‘Pull yourself together man!’_ he mentally yells at himself _‘It does no good to dwell on what cannot happen.’_

“Right. It was a rather dumb question.” His nervous chuckle sounds pained to Lydia. She doesn’t really know Remus that well but she has noticed that he has seemed off all day really. Not quite the easy-going man she had met on the train yesterday.

“Are you feeling alright?” the back of her hand touches his forehead, just like her mother would do to her when an illness was suspected “You feel a bit warm. Do you need to go to this Madam Pomfrey you told me about?”

Remus watched that furrow between her brow return as she shifts to turn toward him, waiting for an answer.

The fact that she is fretting over him endears her to him even more. His friends cared about his well-being but they knew why he would ‘feel under the weather’ once a month and never asked questions.

They had never felt his forehead or looked at him with the same concern Lydia was doing now. Granted it might turn a few heads if James was constantly checking his temperature while Sirius looked on nervously but with Lydia doing it, it felt…right.

“No. It’s just a small cold. I seem to be susceptible to them and will be right as rain in a few days time. Would you still like for me to read?”

“Only if you feel up to it.” She yawns and surprises him when she rests her head on his shoulder. The hair that has escaped her braid tickle his cheek as she nuzzles closer to him. “Here,” her hand disappears into the pocket of her robe before pulling out something round and wrapped in a glossy purple wrapper “At least have some chocolate, it’ll make you feel better.”

He smiles knowing that her robes truly hold an unlimited amount of chocolate. This knowledge was cemented as he has seen her eating pieces between classes throughout the day.

As the piece of raspberry tasting confection started to melt on his tongue he abandoned the page he was reading and quickly found the first chapter. With one deeper inhale to steady his nerves Remus then starts to recite the words written before him.

“’I am inclined to think –‘ said I.

‘I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently.

I believe that I am one of the most long-suffering of mortals; but I’ll admit that I was annoyed at the sardonic interruption”

Like a balm, Remus’s gentle voice has an almost soothing effect. His words start to counter the pounding in her head. Lydia found herself relaxing against his shoulder even more as the seconds tick by.  The meaning of the words not quite registering but she still appreciates them none the less.

* * *

* * *

 

Remus started to suspect that Lydia had fallen asleep part way through the second chapter. Her breathing evened out and he felt her relax as the muscles in her body went languid. Throwing a small glance at the slumbering girl who decided to use his right shoulder as a pillow he couldn’t help but smile at the way her bangs fell in front of her face. A dark curtain over the glasses, that today held an emerald tint to them.

The portrait opened and a group of third years walked through, not caring that there was seemingly an angel sleeping on the couch. He used his wand and muttered a silencing barrier around them. Remus told himself he did so because he didn’t want anyone to wake Lydia but the truth was he just wanted to experience this rare moment as long as the gods seemed fit.

Of course, the group of delinquents Remus often called his friends entered the common room not long after he continued to read silently to himself. Not at all minding having the sleeping girl still on his shoulder.

The smirk on Sirius’s face spelled the very definition of trouble but before Sirius could take a step toward the couch and his sighted targets, Lilly grabbed him by the shoulder managing to stop him in his tracks. Remus offered Lilly a thankful smile as she leads the group over to play a game of wizard chess.

After reading the same paragraph again for the sixth time Remus decides to give up on the charade and closes the cover. He is half tempted to throw the book at the head of one pestering Sirius Black. The silencing charm is still in place but Remus makes a mental note to learn a spell that can hide him from the knowing glances his friend keeps throwing his way every chance he gets.

_“How did I end up with this man being one of my best friends?”_ Remus thinks to himself when he looks up to see Sirius pretending to make out with himself. It isn’t long before Lilly catches him in the act and smacks him on the back of the head. Remus chuckles while watching Lilly yell at Sirius and judging by the angry hand movements she is throwing around he can guess Sirius is getting a right earful.

Lydia jumps at his laugh.

Or at least Remus thought that she did but the jerky movements don’t stop.

Looking down, the sight in front of him turns the blood in his veins cold. With his concentration broken the silencing charm vanishes and the sounds of the energetic Gryffindor common room assault him.

“Lydia?” Remus shouts while he jumps to his feet. His hand reaches out but he is afraid to touch her.

This gets the attention of the Marauders and soon they are standing around him looking on with the same concern he has. He is helpless as he watches her body violently twitch. The convulsions seem to lock up her body as every muscle in her neck is straining against her pale skin, her back arched off the couch in an inhuman angle.

“What’s wrong with her?” Peter is the first to speak.

“I think it’s a seizure. Someone send for Madam Pomfrey!” Lilly shouts. Her eyes look panicked but her voice holds a deceiving calmness even while she yells.

Frank Longbottom is the first to run out of the common room but Lydia’s condition does not seem to be improving.

Ignoring the protests his own body makes, Remus bends down and picks the girl up in his arms.  Carrying her bridal style but even in his arms her body holds the same stiff position she had on the couch. Ducking through the narrow portrait hole he tightens his grasp on Lydia’s legs.  He tries to keep her head from jostling around by holding her to his shoulder with one hand. He doesn’t slow his pace as he runs toward the hospital wing.

He can vaguely hear Lilly, James, Sirius, and Peter running behind him and the quiet whispers of the portraits he passes in the hallways but he pays them no mind. Remus has a singular task on his mind.

Get Lydia help.

He arrives at the hospital wing with a speed that surprises even himself. The door was left open by Frank who is doing his best to explain to Madam Pomfrey what is happening.

The older witch looks relived to see Remus carrying Lydia into the room but her face instantly switches to the stony scrutiny she is known for in times of medical emergencies.

“On the bed. Quickly now.” Remus does as he is told and takes care to place his charges head on the pillow.

Suddenly her body goes lax. Panic takes over but before he can act on it he catches sight of her chest as it rapidly rises and falls giving him proof that she is still alive. The flickering flame from the bedside lamp reveals the shine of tears falling down Lydia’s cheeks. They seem completely out of place on her face. Still afraid to touch her, his thumb hovers over her skin a second before wiping away the offending proof of her pain.

His hand jerks away when her mouth opens in a silent scream as her body once again seizes up.

The clinking of potion bottles is the soundtrack to the horrifying scene playing out before him. Remus steps back to allow Madam Pomfrey to take his place at Lydia’s bedside. The older woman shoos him away before closing the curtain around Lydia’s bed.

The rest of the Marauders are waiting at the door. Remus knows that Madam Pomfrey will do everything within her power to help Lydia but something indescribable is urging him to go back to Lydia’s side.

Knowing that the matron will have his head if he interrupts, Remus reluctantly makes his way over to his friends, unsure if he is seeking comfort from them or because it is a habit.

James is holding Lilly as she worries her hands together while chewing on her lip. For once, even Sirius looks serious. Peter claps Remus on the back and offers some sort of encouragement but it falls on deaf ears.


	5. A Lovely Shade of Periwinkle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is on the shorter side but I hope you enjoy

**Chapter 5**

The pain would be blinding, that is if she wasn’t already blind, but it’s also a familiar pain to Lydia. Granted it has been some months since she last had an “episode” as her father and the healers at St. Mungo called them but the reprieve she was granted doesn’t seem long enough.

Lydia reaches out for Glenda, needing to feel the cane under her fingertips as proof that she is awake and not dreaming. The small task of moving her arm sends a shock up her side and straight to a spot behind her eyes that no amount of rubbing or wincing is going to make go away.

“Hello?” She tries to put some force into her voice but between fighting down the bile threating to come up and the fear that she has been committed to St. Mungo’s again makes her call for help sound like a whisper.

Never the less, the sound of heels hurrying across the stone floor is headed toward her bed and Lydia is grateful for whoever it is because not even a second later a cold rag is placed on her forehead and the pain lessens slightly.

The only way Lydia can express her gratitude is through a sigh of relief but the matron of Hogwarts was able to decipher her unspoken words of thanks and smiled down at the student.

“You gave us quite a fright Miss Roman.” Lydia winced as the sharp feminine voice assaulted her ears, “I had half a mind to ignore Headmaster Dumbledore altogether and owl your father right away but he was adamant that we wait and hear your wishes.”

Before Lydia could answer, a much more soothing voice joined the one-sided conversation, “Ah Madam Pomfrey I have absolute confidence in your skills and I daresay your knowledge surpasses even the healers at St. Mungo’s.”

“Headmaster.” Was said on a huff and Lydia could barely overhear the hushed conversation that took place away from her bed, “She just woke up and I won’t have you causing any undue stress. Headmaster or not the girl clearly needs her rest.”

“But of course, Poppy”

The same clacking of heels against the stone made its return to wherever they had come from.

“I fear she sees my flattery as insincere.” Dumbledore’s lulling voice holds a hint of amusement. “How are you feeling my dear?”

Lydia spends more time than necessary adjusting the rag over her eyes. It’s as much of an excuse to stall the conversation as it is to hide her own eyes that others find unsettling. A chill runs down her back, the headmasters voice reminds her of that night in her home and it takes some effort to separate then and now in her mind.

“I have felt worse.” She attempts a playful smile but fails miserably when a wince contorts her face.

“That might very well be true but if there is anything you desire please do not hesitate to ask.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any chocolate, would you?”

“Regretfully I do not but I do believe you might soon be in luck. A certain young man has all but set up camp outside the door and I have a feeling he might have just what you are looking for.”

Lydia is at first confused by what Dumbledore is saying, unable to think of anyone other than her own father that would be worried about her. However, that confusion does not last long when the echo of the wooden doors causes Lydia to turn her head toward the entrance.

For the first time since waking up Lydia opens her eyes and is surprised by the faintest glow of periwinkle. What is more surprising is how it is growing as it moves closer to her bed. The beacon is no more than the size of a firefly but to Lydia it might as well be the sun itself.

Pain is all but forgotten as Lydia raises her hand toward the speck. Reaching out for it. After months of complete darkness, this is Lydia’s first sign of light and she wants to capture it, never to let it go again. Somewhere in her mind she knows that she is crying. The wetness rolling off her cheeks and onto her neck could be from the pain in pushing her body or from pure joy but she does not dwell on the reasons.

“What is that?” the question is rhetorical, forgetting that there was even anyone else in the room with her.

The light stopped advancing.

“Please don’t go.” She forces her arms to lift her off the bed. Her legs to swing over the side of the comfortable goose down mattress. At her words the brilliant purple light continues on its journey toward her at a faster pace and Lydia honestly doesn’t care if it is ‘You-Know-Who’ himself at this point.

Her hand reaches across the last few inches of void and Lydia is shocked when she is met with something solid. She half expected the light to pass through her fingers.

She smiles when she notices that running her hand over the light makes it dance around her fingers. Leaving a silhouette of her hand.

“It’s beautiful. The most amazing thing I have ever seen. What is this?” she asks again. Amazed that in a sea of black she has found her lighthouse.

“Well my dear I am glad you have such kind words for your classmates. To answer your question that would be the chest of a, currently flustered, Remus Lupin.” Dumbledore interrupts her exploring to answer the question she already forgot she asked.

His words didn’t register with Lydia. Because the light seems to pulse, like the seconds of time giving a rhythmic dance that instantly calms her. Her arms move on their own and they hug the light before her. Her head pressed as close to the anomaly as she can get it.

“Lydia?” The vibration of her name rumbles through her body, startling her enough to pull back. “Are You alright?”

Lydia knows that voice.

“Remus?” she asks and the confusion is evident in her tone. Her hand replaces where her head rested over the light.

“Yes.” The same rumble is succinct with his words.

“You are a lovely shade of periwinkle.”

“Thank you?” it is his turn for confusion and he turns toward Dumbledore hoping for some kind of answer from the older man.

However, he is met with nothing more than an amused look from their headmaster as Lydia continues to run the tips of her fingers over his chest.

Remus is still feeling the effects from the full moon just two nights ago. Combined with his concern over Lydia; remembering how she looked when he saw her last and he would be the first to admit that his mind has been left fully unfocused these past few days.

He was unable to eat this morning let alone attempt sitting through one of Slughorn’s potions lessons. Which brought him here, currently being stroked by the main cause of his distraction. The bright flush in his cheeks were evident to everyone who could see him.

“Mr. Lupin.” This seems to finally pause Lydia’s hand “Why are you here and why are you disturbing my patient.”

“I—I’m sorry ma’—”

“OH MY!” Lydia interrupts his half-formed apology “You remind me of this necklace my mother had…I believe it was turquoise.”

Both Remus and Madam Pomfrey turn toward Dumbledore. The matron wearing a look that clearly says Lydia needs to be moved to the ward of St. Mungo’s that houses witches and wizards with special head maladies.

Remus looks back to the girl sitting on the bed and the first thing he notices is the tears falling quickly down her face, his brow furrows with concern until he sees the vibrant smile on her face.

“I believe Lydia is referring to your aura Poppy and I quite agree it is reminiscent of turquoise.”

The healer allows herself a moment to be taken aback by the comment but it does not last long before she shoos Remus back and forces her patient to lay her head back down on her pillow.

All the while he can clearly hear Lydia whispering, “I can see” and the smile never leaves her face.   


End file.
